What do I need?

Love Sober has always had self-care as a foundation of sobriety. 

This process of saying 'No' to alcohol is all about YOU and helping you feel happy and empowered in this amazing choice you are making. In saying 'No' to alcohol we get to say 'Yes' to all kinds of things and to ask ourselves REAL questions to inform our choices, organising ourselves and our lives around real pleasure and well being, free from the harmful effects of booze.

Along the way you will have ups and downs, good days and bad days but
if you have a few basics down then you can really put your best foot forward. Planning and preparation are key so here are some of our top practical tips for the first couple of weeks.

To do checklist:

• Stock up on what you need: nice food, teas, treats.

• Write a list of reasons you want to quit drinking and start living a happy life.

• Plan in sober treats: a lush coffee, fresh flowers, new lipstick etc

• Get connected with our community

• Get in your sober bubble ( embrace JOMO for a bit and see this as YOUR TIME)

• Get informed with quit lit/ podcasts

• Call BS on the whole alcohol being ‘normal’ thing. It’s been sold at you by big companies. It’s not a treat- it’s a poison.

Do it for you: Discover your why, remember your why, and know that this is your anchor. Write a list and keep it

somewhere safe. If you prefer you can record these on your phone or create a visual Pinterest board. Keep it visible for yourself.

Who is talking ? We all have voices and scripts that run in our heads. We have thousands of thoughts a day.

Who is running the show? Is it the Addictive Voice, or the Wine Witch? Is it the Inner Meanie giving you a hard time, or are you tuned into a compassionate you or even a wise sage? Any voice that suggests drinking is the Addictive Voice. Try journalling these thoughts and voices.

Never break the chain: Make being sober a habit which gets stronger and stronger by linking one day to another and never break that chain. If you keep doing that a sober day adds up to a sober week, then month etc and it gets easier and easier as sober becomes the new normal.

Practice radical self care: Listen in to your needs and become intimate with how to meet your sensory, emotional, physical and spiritual needs by becoming your own self care coach. It all starts with the question ‘ What do I really need right now?’ If we can pinpoint the need then we can start to meet our needs in healthy ways.

Connection is key: Find your sober group online or in real life. Keep searching till you find your fit, reach out to get support, be accountable and share the lows and celebrate the highs with people who get it. Perhaps you would like to join an anonymous group or go large on Instagram, perhaps you are fitness focussed, addiction or recovery focussed or perhaps you want a women’s only space. Whatever, your preference and needs, there will be a group where you fit.

Build your toolkit: Build your sober tool kit of things that soothe you and light you up for tricky moments and trigger times. It could be a physical toolkit of essential oils and a blanket and book or a POWER list of your reasons WHY. By learning to soothe and work our emergency self care we can avoid hitting the wine to dial down our stress.

Environment not will-power: Reduce your exposure to temptation by creating space for sobriety in your immediate environment by removing booze from your house, in your social life by making sober friends and in your mind by reading quilt and listening to podcasts. Sobriety will not always be your focus but at the beginning become mesmerised with it and become an expert to boss your new sober muscles.

Find your thing: Fill the alcohol shaped hole with new things to love: hobbies, activities, pastimes to help light you up or help you de-stress and switch off. Life is full of glittering opportunities and quiet loves- there are so many things to try, so why not revisit a childhood hobby or write a bucket list and find your thing.

Move your body: Find some movement to drop into your body and switch off the mind-chatter, release endorphins and boost your natural feelings of wellbeing with your own happy chemicals. Yoga is a miracle for calming your mind, Zumba may get your wiggle on or HIIT make you feel like the ultimate badass. See what your body needs and how you love to move.

Trust the Process: Practice not perfect. You are Sober is the rest good enough for now. Practice letting things be and just dealing with today. Patience, slowing down and just doing the basics is where we need to be, especially when we are changing patterns of behaviour and habits. We will be spending a lot of energy learning new ways and adjusting, so go easy and be kind to YOU.

Our first book 'Love Yourself Sober - A Self-Care Approach to Alcohol-Free Living for Busy Mothers' is now part of our bundle offering of joining Love Sober Members Community along with the Six Week online Program! 

In sober love and sisterhood

Kate and Mandy X