I am celebrating my four year soberversary today. I started in 2013 and had long runs of sobriety but this is four years continuous sobriety. I can’t believe it really - it seems a lot longer LOL. In a good way - it feels automatic and established and I truly love the journey of discovery and the adventure it has become.
It wasn’t always like that - at the start it was tough, there was such a lot of fear and there were many tools I needed to get on board . Over the years I have studied and trained and I have learnt about boundaries, about mental health and about having my on back and becoming confident - which is a beautiful consequence of meeting my intention each day to be sober and meet the rest as it is.
Have a community that you vibe with and keep looking and trying until you find your fit. Connection as they say is the opposite of addiction and it really is - the more we connect and have this great choice mirrored back by kindred spirits the stronger we become our sobriety.
Choose your own language and own your own story - Learning to slowly operate from behind my own negative filter by daily self compassion practice and start affirming myself and having my own back has been joyful and life changing. Point and name your strengths and know that even though you may not feel like it now- the confidence will come. And use language with you find motivating and empowering.
Just figure out the day and trust the process. Underneath our daily actions of staying sober, being rested and doing our lives, trust that a process is happening . You are sober and the rest is good enough.We can get hung up on being perfect and somehow doing sober ‘ right’ -enjoy the day and let things come to you in their own time.
Get informed and resourced - all the science about wellbeing and being sober can help strengthen your mindset. Immerse yourself - quit lit, podcasts , ted talks.
Move and rest - learn what makes you feel good in your body and your nervous system, take breaks often in the day to breathe and help keep forgetting triggered.
Get angry : Call bullshit on the socio-normative drinking culture and booze giants that wanna keep you small and tell you what to do and how to socialise.
Work with your values: Being sober connects and empowers the things in your life that you want to be, do and have.
Put everything through the sobriety filter. If you are an over thinker like me, you can get all tied up in knots in your head.If something does not fit with sobriety , shelve it and prioritise your sobriety
Any voice in your head that suggests drinking is a good idea is the addictive voice.
Find activities you genuinely love, hobbies, bucket lists , times of flow and creativity to recharge the soul.
Use mantras NQTD
Have a sober treat every day. You are worth it x
Understand that life is impactful and we will get kicked off balance by things but by being sober we give ourselves the very best chance at coping, recovering and building our resilience.
Savour the sweet spots - truly - when you get a high moment, or a shiver down your spine at sunset or smell your children’s hair or spark with a friend, turn towards it, have it, savour it. It’s evidence of you in your life showing up.
KOKO - everything will pass - all of it - so if the path seems lost and you lose your mojo , trust the sober path-keep going and the mist will clear and you will feel solid in sobriety again.