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Sober Mini-Guide for Times of Change.

alcohol alcohol-free coaching kate baily love sober mandymanners sobriety wellbeing Sep 30, 2021

This year we are ALL OVER the transitions. What do you mean, we are hear you ask?

We are feeling a heightened awareness to the transition of autumn, of the transition points in our days, where previously we would have tried to manage the discomfort of trying to change gears and downshift with alcohol. (Hello, wine o'clock). Perhaps you managed a transition into a social space from a private place with alcohol, racing to the bar to get that first drink, to calm your nerves. OR drank to cover the transition of PMT, cope with the transition to motherhood, or the menopause. 

Here is our mini guide to managing transitions:

1) Identify the transition. It could be a time of day you find difficult, a shift from working to rest ( a state) or a major life transition like moving house or becoming a mother etc. 

2) Accept that transitions are generally uncomfortable : Jemma Woolven, Sport & Exercise Psychologist says 'Start with acceptance - “We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.” We are creatures of habit and transitions are change.

2) Get curious: Get intimately acquainted with this transition- what do you feel like? What does it bring up for you? Journal it out, talk to others about it and allow reflection. Read about it, listen to podcasts, watch youtube vids. 

3) Get connected : Find your people: If you are going through the menopause, find out about the menopause and connect with other women who are too. If you want to be sober, join a sober forum to make friends and get support. 

4) Change is inevitable - all things must pass ...Adjust your thinking to view the change as a challenge, rather than a threat. Imagine you are on a path, laid out for you and this is just one step along that path. 

5) Look after your senses. When we go through change it can unsettle our nervous systems. So find ways to soothe yourself: walks in the woods, baths, music, hobbies, to give your mind a rest and  help you to feel safe. 

6)  Know that it's Ok not to know. Do the next right thing, take one day at a time and trust that the path will clear and you will find solid ground again once this rite of passage is done and you are in the next phase, next day. 

7) Find a mentor : Find people who have been through it before, role models, wise women , others who have trodden the path and can give your some encouragement that it's going to be ok. 

8) Create a ritual: We humans need order which is why we ritualise major life transitions such as births, deaths, marriages, puberty etc. Why not create your own routines to help that sense of order - it could be a daily journalling practice , a moon cycle meditation, a treat friday, a nightly bath, time for just you to do something nourishing that you can control. 

 

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