Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

alcohol-free coaching gifts of sobriety kate baily love sober love yourself sober mandy manners rational recovery wellbeing women May 05, 2022

Feel the fear and do it anyway....This is such an important part of habit change, growth, and learning to thrive that it was the title of one of the seminal self-help books of all time.

Habit change is scary because we are creatures of habit, and love the familiar. So let’s get this out in the open. What are you scared of if you stop drinking? These are some of the things that frightened us about alcohol-free living:

  • I will fail again

  • I will be miserable

  • I will lose my friends

  • My relationship with my husband will change (for the worse)

  • I will never enjoy a holiday again

  • I am doing the wrong thing

  • I am being mean to myself

  • I am wrong

  • My anxiety will take over and I will have a nervous breakdown

  • I will get so stressed I will have to be hospitalised (drama

    queens, us??)

    However, we learned that we can flip these fears and drain them of their power by turning them into affirmations. An affirmation is a simple statement that articulates a wish as if it’s already true. Research in the field of neuroscience has shown that the repeated use of positive affirmations can help us reprogram our brains. Studies suggest that certain neural pathways are increased when people practise self-affirmations, and this helps the brain to process information more effectively, increasing our sense of self-efficacy and, in turn, self-worth.5 Words are magic – especially the ones we say to ourselves – so let’s use them wisely. Facing your fears around sobriety is a great place to start.


Positive affirmations

Put the kettle on, take out your journal, and prepare to turn things around! We can take each one of our own fears and write a positive affirmation – a statement that turns each fear into a powerful message. For example:

  • ‘I don’t have the willpower’ becomes ‘I am powerful and strong’

  • ‘I worry I will be miserable’ becomes ‘I have the power to

    change my feelings’

  • ‘I’m scared that I will lose my friends’ becomes ‘I am loved and


  • ‘I’m scared I will fail’ becomes ‘I know I will succeed’

    Writing and saying affirmations is a great ‘fake it till you make it’ strategy and, over time, you will have more belief in them. Why not make them into cards and stick them on the mirror or the fridge, or set them as reminders on your phone? Use them as constant reminders that you are on the right path.

Sober super-tip: 

Clare Pooley, author of 'The Sober Diaries', changed all her computer passwords to ‘iamsober’ when she stopped drinking, to help reprogram her subconscious each time she typed!

How can you flip the thinking & post inspiration and sober power quotes to empower you alcohol-free choice? 

K&M X 

Extract from 'Love Yourself Sober' by Kate Baily & Mandy Manners.

If you liked the book you will LOVE the course!  Read more here.

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