Six Years Sober Post

Hey Sober Stars

This blog is about pimping (am I allowed to use that word?)  your sober toolkit to the power of 10 when things are tough and also to share that I am 6 years alcohol free TODAY!!!

Oh, my Lordy WHAT a couple of weeks I have had. 

As a Mama of kids who have extra needs I am often dealing with one crisis or another. I have learned to be vigilant and adapt to their needs, with my extra sensory radar and super-chilled neutral tone and I taking my yoga very seriously, so that I don't lose my sh**. 

Over the last 6 years I have assembled the scaffold and learned to process the stuff and stress physically and I'd like to think I am fairly adept at it now. However this week , after a very serious incident with my son and a dead guinea pig ( Yes - I DID lose another one in the heat FFS) and I car crash , I found myself absolutely unable to process fast enough and it tripped me into fight/flight, insomnia, my body was in pain and my mind literally stopped working. 

So when we are in this state we need to do an intervention on ourselves and dial everything down PRONTO. 

SELF-CARE for difficult days:

How you do self-care for difficult days  will be different from how I do self-care but the basics are the same. We need to soothe the nervous system and create the conditions for recovery. 

• Create space : we cannot process if we have no space. This may look like taking time off work, going off to your woman cave, a walk alone or with a big furry friend. 

• Let your 'green' people know. Sober group, family, friends - let them know you are struggling even if you don't want to talk.  We have a tendency to isolate when things get tough. Fot me this week I was so sick of telling people bad news that I thought I'd just shut the door and that was my red flag to reach out immediately.  And actually whilst we  need to take space to recover and let things settle we also need to connect to soothe our nervous  systems. 

• Prioritise your tools: You have a tool kit that you use already so lean on that when you have lost solid ground - baths, favourite chair or scent, familiar walks, favourite old book or new book' soothing music, yoga, running etc. etc. You may like to write a list of the tools you use so if you have a bad day you can just refer to your list .

• Treat yourself like a poorly person: Rest, flowers, grapes ( if you can get a fireman to bring them to you, that's really good), easy reading, rest some more.

• Stare  into space ( my favourite thing) 

• Hug a pet or go to a petting zoo. 

• Move your body. Slow rhythmical movements, breathing, feeling your feet on the ground and being somewhere green is soothing for us as animals. 

• Shelve all important decisions and as many decisions as possible until you are out of the fray. 

• Connect with something greater - a moment of awe, watching the sea, doing yoga with a group, connecting with your spiritual practice. These 'transcendent emotions' of awe and compassion literally heal the brain and nervous system. 

• Get a new Netflix series on the go. 

• Acknowledge your strengths and efforts - We can do hard things. I am taking time today to celebrate my six year sober streak. 

• Dial down all expectations. 

• Be patient & gentle with yourself and don't get disheartened if you have bumps along the way. 

Consider getting professional help: identify the support you need -  therapist, coach, somatic teacher etc etc and take this seriously - if you struggling on an ongoing basis, prioritise some paid-for support. If you are not sure ask, research  and book discovery calls.  

Sending much love to you all. 

Stay sAFe.

Love Kate xxx