Ten Keys to a Happy Sober You!

How to Party Like Sober Goddess

alcohol-free christmas love life sober recovery sober socialising Dec 03, 2022

Winter is often a super social season – this may go against our natural rhythms but it has become important in connecting with others and as a way of cheering the spirits in colder months. In the summer we looked at other areas of socializing – our micro-connections, our summer burnout, and JOMO. In winter, we are focusing on going out-out, because Sober Cinderella can go to the ball if she wants to.

Reclaiming this fairy story as a sober metaphor is going to help us get our sparkle and glam on, and having sobriety as your fairy goddess mother means you will never turn into the drunken pumpkin at midnight or any other time. To boss your ball sober you must follow these pieces of advice from your sober fairy goddess mother:  

You can go to the ball but be back by midnight (or 10pm if you have had enough)

Most of us neglect that we have a social window of tolerance and use alcohol to push on through longer than we actually want to be somewhere. We shy away from social events because they seem overwhelming or we get triggered to drink, but maybe the clock has chimed and you’re still partying after all the fairy godmother’s magic has disappeared. What is your social window? Make a plan not to stay one minute over it. Have your carriage waiting and drive it yourself!

A great outfit will do wonders for your confidence

You’re sober honey, you deserve it! When we’re going sober and social, we like to go all out: nails done, new outfit, hair looking fly, perfume smelling sexy. All these added fantabulous treats afforded by all the money you have saved on booze – yes, queen! Think Diana Ross meets RuPaul – and then some. It’s your time to shine, not to shy away. Be proud!

Be prepared – not so much a scout but a badass sober goddess

There is huge power in planning and playing the evening forward right until you leave. What will you wear? Who will you talk to? What will you drink? What will you be proud of? What time will you leave? How will you feel when you wake up in the morning having bossed it? #spoiler – a massive Cheshire cat smile and sense of achievement.
Did you know that if we walk through the steps in our mind, our minds don’t entirely differentiate between the thought process and actually having done it, so our brains take this as evidence!

Dance with decorum

Someone once said to us on a sober forum: you can go to the party, you don’t have to BE the party. A lot of our socializing was either controlling our drinking (being on edge, not having fun and obsessing over when it would be acceptable for us to have our next drink) or being other people’s entertainment – the one who can ‘put it back’, ‘crazy party girl’, ‘up for it’, ‘such a laugh when she’s p***ed’.

In the moment, this made us feel like we had worth – people wanted us around, they thought we were good craic. But where were they at 4am when we woke up with dread? Where were they in the morning when we were being sick? What did they say when we said we were thinking of having a break? Why were we outsourcing our self-esteem to be a performing animal for someone else’s laughs, when internally we were suffering?

There is ENORMOUS self-affirmation and pride in going to a party and not doing anything that embarrasses you. Of having a sense of feeling like a ballet dancer, straight back, head held high. You have emerged now as a beautiful swan – and watch out fickle friends because this girl can bite.

Keep your special people around you

Our Cinders had her little mice friends with her. You, in turn, can have your sober community with you. Maybe you wear a bracelet that reminds you of milestones. We often say to each other, ‘I will have you in my pocket’ – as we know that if it all gets too much we can escape to the loo and log on to a sober group and reach out. It’s a pretty amazing thing to know that 24/7 somewhere around the world someone will pick that message up and say, ‘I got you, what do you need?’

Some questions for Bossing your Party Sober

What’s my social window?
What would make me feel like a sparkly princess? (This can be tatts and piercings and all black btw – sparkle doesn’t have to be pink.)

What time do I want to leave? How am I getting home ( hint -drive)

What are my favourite AF drinks? 

What's my best one liner for deflecting stupid comments about me not drinking if they happen? ( With my best winning smile - or not) 
Who makes me feel totally at ease when I am with them?

Stay sAFe. Love you. You are awesome x 

Buy Love Your Sober Year 

Join the December Love Sober Self Care Challenge 


Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Cras sed sapien quam. Sed dapibus est id enim facilisis, at posuere turpis adipiscing. Quisque sit amet dui dui.

Call To Action

Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.